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FEAST YER EYES
Assume the role of Ego, a young woman imprisoned for her entire life under mysterious circumstances in a poor man's version of Medieval Europe. In this world, the millennium of Medieval history,
art, people and tales are all condensed into one convenient setting, with the fictional and factual blending into one. Encounter macabre Boschian creatures, help Marie de France write a poem, and,
if you're fortunate enough, you might even see a public flaying. How rad is that?
Armed with only her developmental delays due to chronic isolation and no grasp of societal norms,
she must navigate the world around her, meeting risible enemies, making bizarre friends, and overall having a whale of a time. But what is the truth behind her imprisonment?
Who is she, and where does she hail from? Will the Church make her pay a tithe? (Yes) If you're feeling daring, or if you
just don't have anything else better to do, join Ego on her journey and uncover your truth.
Big ups to ezgif.com for absolutely butchering these mp4 to gif conversions of the in game footage. The game runs at 60 FPS and isn't this
compressed trust me bro I made it with GameMaker
QUERIES
Q: Is this going to be the next big thing that's going to help people?
~ My mom
A: Probably not
Q: When is this going to be done?
~ Me
A: Absolutely fantastic question. I don't know. If I had to gauge right now, 10:36:20 PM EST on the 23rd of January, the year of our
Lord 2023, it's probably like 10% done. Me, being the genius I am and having never made a game before, decided to make a giant game
instead of a small one first. Oh well.
There's a lot more to it than I thought, and right now I'm focusing mainly on the backend programming
and game logic stuff such as the inventory system and the dialogue system. This doesn't mean that I'm neglecting other stuff like the graphics,
they may look like placeholders but honestly that's the best I can do.
After the whole game logic and backend stuff is done, I'll be focusing on the graphics and the story. For the music, that's a whole other story.
Forbye the aforesaid obstatcles, I gotta do my homework. Gotta keep that 3.79 GPA.
So when is this going to be done? When I finish it.
Q: This looks bad
~ Me
A: I know
Q: You'll never guess what happened, there was a robbery at the local gas station. Some bloke donned a ski mask and strolled into the store, and
demanded that the cashier, poor guy, hand over all the money in the register. The cashier, being a cheap bastard, refused to give
him the money, and the robber, being a cheap bastard, decided to unveil his trump card. He pulled out a flare gun and pointed that
old thing at the cashier. The cashier was a cheap bastard, but he wasn't a dumb bastard. He decided to take the money out of the
register and give it to the robber. The cashier's name was Cornelius by the way. That's not important but you may have been curious.
Anyway, unbenownst to the robber, there was an officer of the law in the store, in the bathroom to be precise and he was just emerging
after purging his innards. Unbenownst to the cashier, the robber had a second trump card, another flare gun. With one flare gun pointed
at the cashier, he pulled out the other flare gun and pointed it at the officer of the law. Unbenownst to the officer of the law, there
was a robbery happening at the local gas station. The officer of the law, he was a cheap bastard too, and decided to sneak a chocolate
chip muffin and give it a full gulp and glurp job before he noticed what was going on. The robber, get this now, he had a third flare gun.
With one flare gun pointed at the cashier and one flare gun pointed at the officer of the law, he pointed the third flare gun at the
old man who was standing behind him in line. The robber suddenly grabbed the old geezer and shoved him in front of him. He walked out of
the store with the old man in front of him, one flare gun still pointed at the robber and one flare gun still pointed at the officer of
the law. After the officer of the law was done giving the chocolate chip muffin a full gulp and glurp job, he noticed that the robber
was leaving the store. He said, "Stay safe out there, kiddo", oblivious to the fact that the robber was a robber! A few moments later
he realized what was going on but by that point the robber was already gone. The officer of the law started to choke on the chocolate
chip muffin. Turns out, and get this, he only gave it a half gulp and glurp job. He was a cheap bastard. The cashier called the authorities,
and they arrived with an ambulance and a fire truck. They didn't bring the police though, can you believe that? But anyway, the officer of
law was having a rough time, choking on chocolate chips and all. I could end the story here and say "Don't steal". I could but I won't. It
gets better, trust me. The ambulance took the officer of the law to the hospital and the cashier had to explain what happened. He said
that it was a robbery gone horribly wrong and a hostage was taken. They had no clues, no leads, no suspects. The officer of the law, as it
turned out, went into a coma. He was allergic to chocaolte chips! Good word. The worst thing about this whole debacle was that the only
one who got a good look at the robber was the officer of the law, the cashier was shy so he was looking at his feet the whole time.
But get this, for 10 years, the officer of the law was in a coma. He was in a coma for 10 years! They say he still is to this very day.
And would you believe it, the robber was still at large. It wasn't until 10 years later (10 years!) that they got a clue. The clue was in
the form of a grizzly bear. The grizzly bear walked into the police station and said "I have information about that robbery". The police,
of course, were shocked. A talking bear, like whaaatt? But anyway, a detective set the bear down in a chair and asked him what he knew.
The bear explained that on the night of the robbery 10 years ago on that fateful day, he was walking through the woods when he heard a
noise. It sounded like a rat who had just eaten a sour Mike and Ike's candy but he didn't like it so he was gagging on it. And, importantly,
there was a distinct smell of tin foil in the air. The bear, being the curious critter he was, decided to investigate. He followed the
scent and came to a small pond in the woods. He saw a man donning a ski mask with an old man beside him. Apparently, the grizzly bear
saw the robber tie some heavy stones around the old man's feet and push him into the pond! How horrid. The bear roared a mighty roar and
the robber fled the scene. The bear, thinking quickly, decided to try to save the old man from drowning, so the robber ended up getting away.
The bear tried all he could to save the old man, but in the end he was unsuccessful. The detectice was stunned. He asked the bear if he
had any proof to his claims and the bear presented three flare guns. The detective was shocked, but he had a burning question on his mind.
He asked the bear, "Why did you wait 10 years to come forward with this information?" The bear looked confused and said, "My good man, what
ever do you mean?" The detective said, "Well, you see, the robbery happened 10 years ago, and you just came forward with this information today.
And you knew about what happened for 10 years! So I want to know what's with the big pause?" The bear looked at the detective, then down at his
arms, then back at the detective. He said, "Why the big paws? I don't know, I guess I was just born with them."
~ The Jester
A: I don't get it
